Islamic Date

Khamis

24th

Dhul-Qa'dah

1438

Articles

Family Ties

By Hazrat Maulana Yunus Patel Saheb (رَحْمَةُ اللهِ عَلَيْهِ)

Allah Ta’ala holds back His Rahmah (mercy) from those who break family ties. 

If the tie is broken solely for the pleasure of Allah Ta’ala; for some legitimate Islamic reason, then to do so would not be a sin.

However, we who are the slaves of our egos and nafs should be careful that shaytaan does not instigate us to sever family ties in the name of Deen, whereas it is, in reality, for the sake of our nafs. As a result of breaking ties, the entire family – in truth, the entire community suffers. Allah Ta’ala holds back His blessings.

Hazrat Abdullah Ibn Abi Aufa (RA) had related that in the evening of the Day of Arafah, the Sahaba(RA) were sitting with Nabi (Sallallaahu ‘alayhi waSallam) when he announced: ‘Anyone who has broken his relationship with any of his kin, should leave the company and not sit with us.’ 

ONLY ONE man got up and left. He returned after some time and informed Nabi (Sallallaahu ‘alayhi waSallam) that on hearing the order, he immediately went to his aunt with whom he had severed ties. He explained to her the instruction of Rasulullah (Sallallaahu ‘alayhi waSallam). On hearing it, she made a dua of forgiveness for him, and he for her and they reconciled. Rasulullah (Sallallaahu ‘alayhi waSallam) was extremely pleased, allowed him to rejoin their company, and explained to his companions that Allah Ta’ala does not grant His blessings on a community among whom there is someone who has broken off family ties.

 

In almost all cases it is because the ego has been hurt by the snubbing or bad attitude of relatives that causes the break up. As Muslims, we should be good to our relatives, even if they are unkind to us. The Hadith states : 

 

‘He who reciprocates good treatment does not really strengthen family bonds; but the one who through kind behaviour, strengthens his ties of kinship with those who sever relations with him, does so.’

 

Whilst visiting another country on a lecture tour, a brother met me and said to me that he has elderly parents, whom he is taking care of. However, from their side, there is no appreciation. He keeps serving them and giving to them, but there is no expression of gratitude. 

His brother visits their parents ‘once in a blue moon’ and brings a gift; and for this, the parents will sing this son’s praises from here to high heaven. And yet, this is the son who hardly gives them his time nor serves them. So the brother said that this was eating him up, that he is doing so much, but the attention and appreciation is going to the brother. 

I replied to him : “Remember just one simple thing, and all this disappointment and these frustrations will disappear: 

 

“DO FOR ALLAH’S PLEASURE, HE WILL GIVE FROM HIS TREASURE.”

 

Simple …and see how, despite their ingratitude or inattention, you will find tremendous happiness in the sacrifices you make for your parents. And Allah Ta’ala will show you His happiness in various bounties, on your sincerity and service to your parents.”

Alhamdulillah, the brother was extremely thankful for this piece of advice and was already happy with being given this great honour and privilege of serving his parents.

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